English Jokes SMS

SMOKING KILLS SLOWLY.

Posted in : English Funny Jokes SMS

People Says ,"SMOKING KILLS SLOWLY......"

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So What,

Who'z in a Hurry ....!!!!

Before finding her Love
Posted in : English Funny Jokes SMS

Girl before finding her Love:
He should love me more & more everyday
He should never let me sad
He should always understand me
He should be perfect !!

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After finding her boyfriend:
So what if he is not loving me unconditional, I understand & love him anyway
So what if he is sometimes makes me sad, that is ok, still he is the best for me!
So what if he is not fully understanding me, I will understand him
So what if he is not perfect, I am not perfect too! 

This is my father speaking
Posted in : English Funny Jokes SMS
Little Sam (on phone): My son is having high fever and he won’t be able to come to school today.
Teacher: Who is this?
Little Sam: This is my father speaking!


Where you are not feeling well?
Posted in : English Funny Jokes SMS
Son: I am not able to go to school today.
Father: what happened?
Son: I am not feeling well
Father: Where you are not feeling well?
Son: In school!


Will have the other half this afternoon
Posted in : English Funny Jokes SMS
Teacher announced that “students, we will have only half a day of school in this morning.
All the students said “Yeahh”
Then the teacher said “We will have the other half this afternoon”!



School Ahead, Go Slow
Posted in :  English Funny Jokes SMS
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What type of sign?
Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”!



I want to ask you something.
Posted in : English Funny Jokes SMS
Sam: Dear sir, I want to ask you something.
Teacher: yes Sam, ask me, what do you want?
Sam: Sir, do you punish anyone for something they did not do?
Teacher: No Sam. Why should I?
Sam: Thank you sir. That’s a relief. I haven’t done the homework.


Girlfriend Is Like 
Posted in : English Funny Jokes SMS
Girlfriend Is Like Internet Virus,
She Will Enter Your Life, Scan Your Pocket,
Transfer Your Money, Edit Your Mind, Download Her Problem





An Object Continues To Move Unless It Stops
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A Cow Was Walking, Newton Stopped It..He Stopped,,
He Found His 1st Law..
“An Object Continues To Move Unless It Stops”
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He Gave A Force By Kicking The Cow
It Gave A Sound
He Formulated The 2nd Law..
“Force,F=MA”
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After Sometimes Cow Gave A Kick To Newton,,
Then He Formulated 3rd Law..
“Every Action Has An Equal And Opposite Reaction”




How to Kill a mosquito
Posted in : English Funny Jokes SMS
How to Kill a mosquito:
Catch it alive,
Tie its legs
then make gudgudi in its stomach
and when it laughs
,Catch its mouth
& pour a spoon of Poison ….



Trainee In An MNC
Posted in : English Funny Jokes SMS
A Trainee In An MNC Dialed The CEO By Mistake & Said:
Hey, Send A Coffee To Accounts Dept. Do It Fast..
CEO: Do U Know With Whom R U Talking???
Trainee: No!!!
CEO: I’m The CEO Of This Company…
Trainee: Do U Know With Whom R U Talking???
Confused CEO Answers Slowly: No…
Trainee: Thank God!!!
(Disconnected The Phone & Said: All Is Well.. All Is Well.. All Is Well.)