English Funny Quotes

Girlfriend Is Like Internet Virus,
She Will Enter Your Life, Scan Your Pocket,
Transfer Your Money, Edit Your Mind, Download Her Problemface-smile.png face-smile.png



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A Cow Was Walking, Newton Stopped It..He Stopped,,
He Found His 1st Law..
“An Object Continues To Move Unless It Stops”
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He Gave A Force By Kicking The Cow
It Gave A Sound
He Formulated The 2nd Law..
“Force,F=MA”
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After Sometimes Cow Gave A Kick To Newton,,
Then He Formulated 3rd Law..
“Every Action Has An Equal And Opposite Reaction”

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How to Kill a mosquito:
Catch it alive,
Tie its legs
then make gudgudi in its stomach
and when it laughs
,Catch its mouth
& pour a spoon of Poison ….face-smile.png



A Trainee In An MNC Dialed The CEO By Mistake & Said:
Hey, Send A Coffee To Accounts Dept. Do It Fast..
CEO: Do U Know With Whom R U Talking???
Trainee: No!!!
CEO: I’m The CEO Of This Company…
Trainee: Do U Know With Whom R U Talking???
Confused CEO Answers Slowly: No…
Trainee: Thank God!!!
(Disconnected The Phone & Said: All Is Well.. All Is Well.. All Is Well.)

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Little Sam (on phone): My son is having high fever and he won’t be able to come to school today.
Teacher: Who is this?
Little Sam: This is my father speaking!
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Son: I am not able to go to school today.
Father: what happened?
Son: I am not feeling well
Father: Where you are not feeling well?
Son: In school!
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Teacher announced that “students, we will have only half a day of school in this morning.
All the students said “Yeahh”
Then the teacher said “We will have the other half this afternoon”!
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Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What type of sign?
Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”!
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Sam: Dear sir, I want to ask you something.
Teacher: yes Sam, ask me, what do you want?
Sam: Sir, do you punish anyone for something they did not do?
Teacher: No Sam. Why should I?
Sam: Thank you sir. That’s a relief. I haven’t done the homework.
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People Says ,"SMOKING KILLS SLOWLY......"
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So What,
Who'z in a Hurry ....!!!!
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Girl before finding her Love:
He should love me more & more everyday
He should never let me sad
He should always understand me
He should be perfect !!
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After finding her boyfriend:
So what if he is not loving me unconditional, I understand & love him anyway
So what if he is sometimes makes me sad, that is ok, still he is the best for me!
So what if he is not fully understanding me, I will understand him
So what if he is not perfect, I am not perfect too! face-smile.png
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